Tres Weird

Hard to think really that since the age of 15 I have been working in some place or other, and now I am not for the next few months. I say few since this is a bit of an unknown time quantity. I have never been out of work for more than 6 weeks and that was only because I had hurt my back and I was physically unable to work.

I said farewell to my office colleagues as I embark on this unusual journey and I held it together, almost lost it at one point. Sat in the car to drive home and that was it, tears started a rolling, not because I am that upset at not being at work, but to finish and take the adoption leave signifies a huge step and that is why the tears were rolling because of the significance of what it represents.

Part of the emotions were related to the fact that I know what is expected of me at work, I know what to do when faced with a PC or a server or something related to Acquire. Now Yve and I are embarking on adopting 2 children and suddenly I forget all the experience I have working with children tots to youth and suddenly I think I don’t know what I am doing!! While part of that may be true and some would say a good place to be since I will rest on God for the answers, I still feel out of my depth.

The other part of the emotions there on Friday was the sheer pressure and weight that I carry, sorry carried, being the IT Department at Working Solutions, now as I left the building and take this time off to focus on the kids, it releases me and I can already feel the weight and burden lifting to a great degree. Sure I still have KIT Days and then others when I may pop in and see the guys, but as a day to day pressure and commitment I am not there and can’t continue to carry that, my focus will be on the 2 new additions to the family and that is right.

I have lots to do this week, Yve and I are heading into town tomorrow (Mon) and then the rest of the week I have various wee jobs around the house to do, lino to lay, door threshold grippers to fix, door handles to sort, mirrors and pictures to hang as well as a few wee clearing jobs to the tip as well. Amongst all of that the whole reason for starting the adoption leave a whole week before the introductions is so that I can mentally and to a degree emotionally prepare for their arrival. Can’t do that while I am still working, I’m a bloke after all and can only focus on one thing at a time, work or kids, not both!!

I think I am finding the whole situation, work and adoption leave etc tres weird. I swing on the full gambit of emotions one day I am up and happy, another I am sad, another I am crying, and yet another angry. Some would say I can even feel 4 emotions in one day, bit like Scottish Weather really, you never know what you are going to get.