Sorry you never got the final chapter of the great Road Trip, we drove home we’re safe, all is good, there you go…
It has been a funny ol few months, handed over the Pastorship of Wellspring CGC to a younger couple, moved to a new job, started a business, been more down the rocky road of life with the kids. Now the new chapter, when we were contemplating handing over Wellspring, we knew this was an opportunity for God to have his say in whether we actually stayed in Nottingham or not. To be honest the only reason we moved to Nottingham in the first place was to Pastor the church here, if not for that then we would not have moved here. 4 years later and having adopted our 2 beautiful kids in this part of the world, it will forever hold special memories, not least of all the house that we started life as a family in.
We were settled and thinking we had some time before needing to make any decisions re house, when the landlord just one week after the dedication service advised that circumstances had changed and it was no longer financially viable for her to rent the house to us. Turmoil, mix of emotions, stay in Nottingham, move back to Scotland, another country even were all asked.
The chance to make a move as family but to keep as much else as we could the same, school, shops, church, social life, friends etc all became the single most driving force in our search for a new home not for our sake but for the kids. All without exception the moves to a new home the kids have made has been associated with myriad of trauma and changes to personal space, carers, schools and not least of all mental instability. A chance to re-write those memories and give them a move as a family with only the house being the thing to change became an overriding opportunity to really solidify and show the kids, life has truly changed for them.
Notice given on the old house, new rental secured and we’re booked to move in less than 3 weeks. Yes 3 weeks to pack a 4 bed house with kids in tow we must be mad. Oh did I mention the weekend before we move i.e. tomorrow we are off to Chelmsford Fri night to join in the Tribe at Momentum for an all CGi Conference, be there returning Sunday after church, so scratch that weekend. I should also mention that Yve is only just recovering from another heavy cold last week and just as she was and we were beginning to think packing last weekend, boom, I came down with a bladder infection, which literally floored me for 4 days, yip right over the weekend, near incapacitated no help whatsover, so that was another weekend of packing lost.
We are beginning to see daylight as I am now back on my feet and feeling more human again, helps when the antibiotics you are taking are not resisted by the e-coli bug I managed to acquire, which the previous ones were.
With all the upset and emotions it has taken it’s toll on the kids, wee man especially has been rocked by not so much the house move but me being ill. When we chatted about the house move the kids were constantly for days saying that picture there is it coming, and that chair and that light, what about the fire and so on. Coming to terms with what things that they had become used to would they actually be bringing with them. Last week or so with me being ill girly girl has been especially worried, vocally so. Not difficult to imagine why, their 6’2″ strong always there for them to hug and play with pick them up from school etc Daddy, all of a sudden is in his bed or on the couch and is making all sorts of strange noises, not eating and definitely not himself, you can understand their minds working this all out. Wee man one day just said I will pray for you Daddy, in true style he stands by my head as I lie on the couch, puts a hand in mine and says, “Dear Lord Jesus please make my Daddy well again for us please, Amen” job done off he trots to bed. You gotta love that. Girly girl is sitting underneath my legs as I lay prostrate on the couch and is discussing how bones break, we chat about the amazing way the body heals itself and can mend stuff, skin, scars, even bones with some help, she goes quiet and you know something is amiss, she doesn’t say but as she disappears round the corner off to bed, tears roll down my face as I am sure I know partly what she may be thinking about me having not been well for so many days and when is my body going to sort it out. Girly girl shares with her mummy how she is worried about her daddy being not so well, their world as they know it can be shaken and having invested their love and time it hurts to see it tarnished.
It is times like these that you are reminded that we cannot and do not live as islands, a family unit is only as good and healthy as their bit parts, one piece of the equation is not working or is taken out of action for a while all the other parts suffer and see things in a different and not so helpful light. For my son his ability to cope at school and life in general is inextricably linked to me, when I was ill, he had some not so good days at school as I recover so do the smiley faces on his ‘report card’. Bears thinking about when you realise how you are, really does affect the day that others have.
See you soon.