Day 25 in the Big Abbott House
I know it has been a week since I last updated and many of you would have been eagerly awaiting my update since last Monday I was saying how I was flying Solo last Tuesday. Part of me is apologetic other parts are not since I am pretty new at this whole parenting lark and not doing badly at it, but then I have my moments of sheer genius and other moments of “you did what!!”. Priorities get in the way, like the kids and sleep, mmmm now why would that be!!
Well anyway it was nae so bad, being on my own all day and knowing that Yve would not be here at hand to help was ok, kids did find it a bit weird and we had our moments on that first day. Wee man had a new morning group to attend for under 5’s as run by Sure Start so that helped to fill some of the time. Girly girl was also mostly ok about it all although since Yve has worked some over the introductions period, she has been able to take some time back and leave work earlier and be home not so long after we get girly girl out from School so that has really worked better.
This past week as a whole has been quite good, we have all be re-adjusting to a new routine, that of Yve go to work we all have all that we need to do, also after a couple of phone calls the wee man is in Nursery as well so that is really good. Up until Summer he is in all day Thursday and Friday Afternoon, we are still working on what times/days he will be from September onwards, but it’s a start. He is soooo looking forward to it all, nearly everyday he asks if he is going to school (as he calls it), so that is encouraging. Thursday there was his first full day and when I went to collect him, he didn’t want to come home he was quite settled and happy with it all.
The other major advantage with the Thursday is that, Thursday is one of Yve’s scheduled off days since she only works 3 days a week Tues, Wed and Fri. So we are really looking forward to the opportunity to pursue and make the most of what can only be described as heaven since both Yve and I will have a day off together, well would you believe it, a day off together NKT. Wow, this first one was not so much together time since we didn’t know we were getting it, but from now on plans are a foot to schedule and plan these days off better, if only for sleep or hanky panky, but mostly shopping or spending time together days, what Joy, these are rare and we are loving this prospect in the midst of all that is going on.
Girly girl continues to challenge and we are working through some absolute belters in terms of screaming tantrums, some have been quite physical towards me and others have just been verbally abusive to our ears more than anything. We did get some support as to how to discipline and work through these and that has worked to a degree. As I have said before with wee man it’s easy, he’s 3, do a count of 3 down to 0 non comply naughty step, 3/4 minutes later you get a sorry and a cuddle, we’re all done. Girly girl is 6, that discipline method don’t work, so what we have been doing as advised was if she is kicking off and not responding to the repeated requests to amend behaviour we do a sort of removal of attention. Me remove wee man and/or dog and usually because when she is in a mood, she directs at them and annoys the pants of one or both of them either physically with wee man or verbally with Honey with high pitch squealing etc.
So Yve will remove herself from the room, wee man and I perhaps Honey as well we all disappear to another room and do something fun and exciting. Girly girl is left to her own devices and allowed to have some thinking time and can usually be heard to be whining or screaming for at least the next half hour. This has begun to work and Yve will get a cuddle and a sorry when she is finished, we then all get back together and pretend nowt happened and move on. Although what we have done since then is begun to adjust that slightly and instead of us all removing ourselves from her attention, after a short period of time we have begun to have Yve go with girly girl and either calmly cuddle or sit down with her and talk her through all that she is perhaps feeling and processing, this approach seems to calm her down far quicker and whereas before Yve was the only one to get a ‘sorry cuddle’ girly girl is now of her volition coming to me and offering a sorry and cuddle to apologise for the behaviour that has just gone on. So that is a huge move forward so we are working with this process for a while and see how we go. It’s all a learning curve and adjusting as we feel is best, nothing is set in stone and it’s fun but challenging.
We now have a bit more of a schedule starting to emerge, mornings and bedtime etc is all moving along quite well, well apart from this morning when no one woke up till after 20 past 7 and that is about half an hour too late for me to be getting up for a shower, and begin to get the house up and organised for the day. Bedtime we are now not doing bath every night so that helps, but we have been known to move the dinner time around a wee bit to accommodate but that is what parenting is all about is it not setting rules, boundaries, routines but at the same time be flexible and accommodate the out of ordinary circumstances, so we are learning, guess we must be parents at last.