Before I get numerous phone calls I am not talking about my marriage with Yve here, the title is deliberate. I am happily married and have past the ‘7 year itch’ now twice and still not intending to scratch, as you will read this too Yve, NEVER WILL.
As you will see from my Adoption Timeline here we have had girly girl and wee man for over 2 years now and this is quite momentous. It means that they have both been with us for more time than they were with their foster carers previously, while that might not seem a long time; in the life of an adopted child that can trigger things subconsciously that we can’t see. Yve and I have been preparing for this significant time not so much literally but more consciously just trying to be aware of it and what it might mean and perhaps what the kids could react with. We have been mindful that we don’t bring something on that isn’t there but yet be alert as to what could be.
Over the last few weeks, month or so even we have noticed a change especially in wee man but also girly girl that might be conceived as they are getting unconsciously restless, an ‘are we moving again’ type of awareness. This is not perpetuated by anything happening in our lives but perhaps by an unconscious time trigger. Difficult to handle with a 5 year old who at the best of times can’t express what is going on in his head, never mind with a pre hormonal girl who is more than likely displaying those pending illustrious and tumultuous hormonal years, yes my musings may be filled with how do I cope with 2 pmt times in the house, it has taken me 20 years to get used to handling Mrs, miss will be a whole new ball game.
Suffice to say we are not sure what if anything is causing this recent change in behaviours, as one friend recently commented perhaps they are just more settled and secure and free and able to express and kick off as they are doing, that should be a positive and it is, although admittedly in the midst of another slanging match or heated attitude busting moment it doesn’t feel very positive. It could also be…wait for it… just being a parent to 2 children, girl of 9 and boy of 5, put aside all the adopted labels and history, perhaps, just perhaps we are simply watching and learning what it means to be in a different phase and stage with our kids, like every other parent on the face of the planet has or is or will experience. After all why should we have it any different to any other family?
Feeling stretched as a Father.