Immediate thoughts when I read the title turn to Harry Enfield’s teenage character Kevin that was so funny and would be walking around long hair plukey (spotty) and looking like he had just been dragged through a hedge backwards. Then I would naturally think that was a recent phrase from one of the kids in response to something that I had told them off about or had mentioned was about to happen.
No it was from me…
No you are not mistaken I did say it was me, and this isn’t the first time either…Walk with me while I paint the picture that leads me to be saying, “so not fair”…
It’s a normal school day, and the alarm goes off and I snooze it cause I haven’t had enough sleep and I can’t be bothered. I get up, eventually, bleary eyed and wander to the bathroom, usual routine there and out get dressed then head for the kids rooms. Usually wee man first since he is like me in the sense that wake him up and boom he is awake and alert. Girly girl is the opposite like Yve, takes time to cool down and warm up.
So yeah I wakes them up as per usual, open curtains and window to let air in and then after girly girl has had her morning, I’m up but not yet awake cuddle with me, those immortal words come from me as I am conscious of the time and schedule. “Right guys time to get dressed. Wee man go get your clothes and bring them through to girly girls room and girly girl, get your stuff out the wardrobe and I will help you get dressed.” Usually this is met from girly girl with; “is it going to be hot or cold?” always needs to know the weather, cottoned onto this and the weather app on the phone answers the question. So she is fine clothes are sorted etc. We may have a tussle with re skirts and blouses, pinafores etc, but generally we are good and get on with it. Wee man on the other hand especially lately has taken to as soon as those words are uttered, he hits paralysed mode!!
Instantly his legs are jelly and he flops to the floor, just like a baby, starts huffing and puffing and you try and gee him up and tickle him and distract him etc to no avail, he ain’t for shifting. When you get words it can be; ” but I want you to help me…” to which we usually then have a discourse about who is helping and how much help he is actually going to get, normal routine, ie every day since he arrived has been he gets clothes out of his own choosing and I help put them on. 99% of the time especially school days, he wants to get dressed in girly girls room, and I am good with that since it makes it easier for me to help both simultaneously.
All of this can go on for anywhere between 2 and 20 minutes, sometimes we get there, and others he is left upstairs refusing help and girly girl and I have abandoned hope and gone down for breakfast. When that happens he greets for a bit, gets over it and then gets himself dressed, completely by himself and properly.
So that’s what has become the normal for me routine of getting them up school days.
Recently I was able to schedule that I would be attending our CGi movement Pastors Day, love these times as I reconnect with my peers and rub off on each other values and principles as well as get some teaching to boot. This meant I would travel to Chelmsford Tuesday night, stay over and do the day on the Wednesday. Ipsofacto this would require Yve to co-ordinate and deal with the above mentioned routine. She did have help since our niece Jemma was staying and she would help out where possible. Since Yve does not normally do this we are both somewhat anxious since maintaining the routine is important as there are other activities that rely on getting girly girl up and out to school as well as keeping wee man in tow.
And here it is, did they do what they normally do to me of a morning…of course not. This is not the first time either.
They got up before Yve did, went to the bathroom, both of them. Yve was left waiting for them to finish so that she could shower etc. They were both in girly girls room, beginning to as Yve thought misbehave, so going to send them to their own rooms to chill while she was in the shower. They begin to get upset, saying we can’t cause then we won’t be able to surprise you! I have heard that before and it is usually followed as it was to Yve with and now you know what it is it won’t be a surprise!! Since they haven’t actually said what it is, it still is a surprise.
So off Yve toddles leaving them to their ‘SURPRISE’ and when she emerges the pair of them have gone and not only retrieved the appropriate clothing for the day, but more than that are both fully and properly (wee man can get his legs in the wrong holes of his pants, bless him) dressed. No input, no fussing, just sorted.
So why oh WHY on God’s green earth do they always do that for Yve and never for me? Why do I not get the break and the lack of hassle and headache that Yve seems to get? Don’t get me wrong I do not wish that Yve had to deal with the norm, but once in a while they could cut me some slack and do it for me…so not fair!!