Sleep Deprivation…

It has been another 10 days since I last updated, some of this time I have quite simply been knackered, bed late and up at the usual crack of dawn (well it feels like it), there was even a day when the alarm went on snooze and I only woke up proper when wee man opened his door.  This was at the time I would normally be up and showered and dressed ready to get the kids up.  NOT I am only just awake and getting out of bed.  Thankfully that was a day when I was not needing to be anywhere and Yve was off and I could have a shower when I got home post school run.

Recently I have been so pleased that wee man will sleep a) for 12 hours through the night DRY and b) will sleep through almost anything.  No Scratch that.  He has slept through an awful lot and that has made Yve and I more grateful.

Girly girl last few nights has been severely kicking off at night round bed time, the triggers can vary, but always involves something that we haven’t done or refused to give her as she was heading to bed, which is always fraught since we are struggling to get her to go at a sensible time and she has a habit of pushing it and pushing it.  Delay tactics.

Anyhoo the pattern has become that she will kick off we refuse to back down, she calls us silly old something, usually cow or man or girl and then we have a stand off.  9 times out of 10 it happens with me and we are left at the top of the stairs me on downstairs side of the gate and Girly girl on the other; literally screaming at the top of her lungs.  Often she is screaming for Mummy, other times, she is screaming ‘I don’t want you’ or similar, ‘Go Away’.  My normal response is quiet and respectfully asking her to go to bed and Mummy will consider coming up to her.  But while she is screaming and hitting me or the wall or rattling the stairgate then that will not encourage Mummy to come up.  So we continue this for a few minutes sometimes up to 20 minutes.  We have become better at bringing her down from this and getting to the point where she is saying sorry and realising what she has done can be calmed enough to get to bed.

Really had a break through the other day when we were having one of these sessions and same routine, she kicked off I stood my ground, she went to bed, cried for a bit then wanted Mummy and to say sorry.  Only I went up, fairly normal since she needs to say sorry to me first, this time she actually allowed me to sit on her bed and receive her sorry.  Initially I sat too far away and then she said/semi shouted, “No you sit there when I say sorry!”  ‘there’ being much closer to her.   WOW, breakthrough. I was then able to cuddle her and talk her down and stroked the back of her head/hair, which she likes.  All of this resulted in her being calm enough to say sorry to me and for what and then once she was calm and not crying/whining we then called Mummy and another cuddle, cry and sorry ensued.  It is really heart breaking as I have said before the flash point is there and we are getting better at recognising it and also working that through with Girly girl so that she can see it as well.  I totally recognise though that sometimes it escalates to the point where even she doesn’t appreciate how much anger and frustration is in there, Bless.

So while all this is going on at the top of the stairs, reminder that wee man’s bedroom is literally back to back with the stair well and door is right next to the stair gate.  Normally, (define normally if you want, comments welcome!) one would expect him to wake up, get upset at all the commotion and then we would have 2 to deal with.  Girly girl who is upset about whatever and then wee man who is upset and now not sleeping just because sis is fractious and upset.

NO, he sleeps through the whole thing and is completely oblivious to the commotion etc that is going on around him.  God I love him for that.  In the midst of all that we are dealing with Girly girl the last thing we need is wee man getting up and getting caught in the middle of it all, either getting upset or Girly girl pulling him into the mix to fight with him as well.  I did in the early stages go in and check on him just to be sure, but of late I don’t cause I know he is out cold.  Wee man goes to bed around 6.30/7 depending on the day he has had and by the time Girly Girl is heading he has been down for an hour or more.  To be fair 99% of the time 5 minutes, if that, after hitting the pillow, he is gone in la la land.  In fairness once Girly girl does go down and settles she too will go for at least 10/11 hours DRY and without getting up during the night.

This is yet another example with our kids, now 10 weeks in, did you hear that only 10 weeks in!!!  That God’s favour has been on these 2 and us in all of this.  our entire move to Nottingham, taking on Wellspring, the house we rent, the people we have, the adoption process, the kids, everything, God has had his hand in all of this and even more so we are thankful with this situation with Girly Girl, with her tantrums and also with our increasingly being able to handle her, her increasing acceptance to receive love and care from both of us.  Couple that with the simple, wee man, indeed both sleeping through the night.  Him more than her able to sleep through anything.

Positive at least 2 out of the 4 of us are not suffering from sleep deprivation, so that has to be a good thing right?

Chat soon
Father Abbott
xx