I Will Drive 500 Miles…York

Family, Life

Weather was not so brilliant today so we opted for a change of plan.  Wee man was booked into Junior Segways session at 11, which was cool fun for him, sister had her session yesterday as she is older and had the opportunity to do the adult version, tour round the park.  Wee man for Junior was round inside the shooting range with footballs and cones to navigate round for motion practise and stability, he had a really great time and while nervous to begin with soon found his form and was spinning round the arena chasing footballs and weaving through markers.

With the weather not being so bright and sunshine we decided a trip to the beach was not perhaps the best use of the day, we actually had rain in the morning and it was overcast most of the day.  So we had picked up some leaflets of things to do in the area one of which was the York Chocolate Story a tour round a chocolate factory to understand some of the history of chocolatiers and the wonder that is the delicious chocolate, as well as being able to sample some and make our own chocolate lolipops, very tasty.  Trip to York is about an hour away from the holiday site, wee wander round the shops as well as the shop experience, great way to spend a what was opening as a not so good day turned into a bright evening and lovely time spent together as a family.

 

I Will Drive 500 Miles…Scarborough

Family, Life

Took a wee day trip to Scarborough today, both Yve and I have been at separate times in our childhood, but never together nor as a family.  My memory of Scarborough is of an outdoor pool with massive symmetrical slides, that went up a hill that you climbed and then the slides came down and ended in a large fun pool.  Didn’t go or find that one today.

 

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash
Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

We took a drive right through town, following some signs towards the South cliff and then on towards the North and from there back along the actual sea front beach and down to the harbour, where we drove the full length seeing all the quiet beach spots and the busier traders, ice cream selling booths.  Found ourselves a space close to the harbour and had a spot of ‘on plan’ lunch.  Onwards walking this time past the harbour and towards all the shops and the tram at the other end.  Main reason for going was to do the whole seaside village shop scene.  Wee man and Girly Girl wanted nothing more than to go into the money pits called arcades and lose pounds, sadly this daddy wisnae taking a gamble on that option.  We did visit a few curios shops with some tasteful and some not so tasteful artefacts, you know what I mean here, so some of it was diverting certain persons attention away.

We stopped for some freshly made and sugared doughnuts, definitely off plan.  Then after sitting a while and watching the Pirate Ship tour go out and in a few times, off for an ice cream, again so far off plan I’ve forgotten what plan I was supposed to be on.  Hey it is my holiday as well.  Back to the car and then a slow drive back along the sea front quick stop at the local Tesco to purchase some supplies to cook dinner and back to site.  We took a walk later this evening because it was getting late and we didn’t want to go to the show and spend more money on over priced drinks and sweetify the kids at that late hour, opting for the fresh outdoors walk and then earlyish to bed, ready for an onsite day tomorrow.  Girly Girl has Segway Activity and Wee Man has the junior version the following day, so couple of on site days and then probably Friday more miles and off site again.

I Will Drive 500 Miles…Filey

Family, Life

It’s Summer 2018 and we have a 2 centre family holiday to take care of, this for us usually involves a fair amount of driving.  The last one I recorded was “June Road Trip”.  This one sees a fair amount of better and more thought through preparation, staring with me prepping the car for travel, roof box etc from the Wednesday night onwards, vs the normal morning of travel.  That is only part of the reason why have never been able to leave before Lunchtime on Travel day and invariably arrive at destination all too late, tired and hangry.  This time the car had a roof box, air in the tyres, fuel in the tank and was packed with all but absolute essentials on the Friday night.  We left the house to travel to Filey via Chorley by 0915!!  I know unheard of, when I told Dad I did say, “now don’t fall off your seat”.  Fortunately for me he was already seated and remained surprised but calm.  The drive down was very uneventful, not really much traffic to speak of and was altogether one of my best trips ever in terms of time spent on the road, traffic congestion and overall finding my destinations.

 

Time of arrival was 1715.  Initially you may wonder why did it take you 8 hours to do 350 miles if roads were good and little traffic issues.

Well I did say we had a detour off the M6 to Chorley, some detour, yes I’ll tell you about that one another time.

I do like to check the settings, bit of a geek, to see if I can get more mileage out of the tank and better overall mpg when doing these trips and while I did use Cruise Control I find that in 6th gear with lower revs, Big Sam does worse than if she were in 5th Gear and higher revs, so I did play about with that on the road down, hence the seemingly varying started with 435 range did actual 350 miles and ended up with only 41 range!!

 

So we made it to Primrose Valley Holiday Park and firmly camped out here for the next week, lovely van with views of the sea and beautiful sunshine to boot, who can ask for better from Yorkshire coastline, with direct foot access to the beach and most all required amenities on site it’s going to be a great week.  Off to book some activities for the kids and see what entertainment is on at the showbar.

Forced Rhythms of Pace

Adoption, Family, Life
Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Reflecting these past few days about pace and how we manage our lives, with Wee Man especially and with Girly Girl we have come to appreciate that there are times when we need to stop and oft force ourselves to regroup and recalibrate as a family.  Wee man is high on schedules and knowing what is coming next and what is it that we are doing.  We discovered early on that he is more comfortable in structured environments, like school, high levels of known parameters, and expectations, time to work and time to play, time to listen and time to let go.  What happened during school holidays was a constant barrage of needing to know and feeling out of sorts as we sought to flow somewhat in our relaxed holiday times, often ending in a clash of wills and discombobulation leading to more stress and moments of angst, as you can imagine those were some not so relaxed holidays.

Now over 7 years on since they moved in (yes it’s been over 7 years!!) we have come a long way to working through and with these times of how they tick but also how we all work together as a family, even more so as we seek to resolve teenage angst and 10 year old boy behaviour (knowing smiles from parents who are in, going through, been through these phases).  We all need, crave and seek times when we appreciate the structure as it grounds us gives a sense of knowing, a sense of belonging, we know where we are and what is expected, wanted of us, we are known, loved and accepted.  Equally now we need, crave and seek times when we are not structured, free to explore, develop, sleep, rest, dream…

Hamish and Mary Alexander
Dave and Amanda Hendry

As a couple, Yve and I early on in our marriage instigated a “Date Night” policy.  Within the busyness of life and being here doing this, helping there, working thither.  We recognised and craved those good ol days of dating when we just went out device free and shared a meal, sat across a table with a coffee in hand, well me coffee, Yve Tea, but you know what I mean. Had a conversation, shared hopes dreams, struggles, woes highs and lows, connected deeper.  More so now we are parents, to begin with we felt unable to go out for a date, after all who could cope with our 2 heck even we struggled with that at times let alone ask someone else to, so that we could get away and regroup as a couple.  Now we all have more of a rhythm we are able to have “Date Nights” and is thanks to great friends that we are able to.  Hamish and Mary Alexander are long long time friends of ours, they come to our home and willingly give up an evening once a month/6 weeks as do Dave and Amanda Hendry, not as long a time friendship but no less valuable, there are others as well that have or do child mind for us allowing our times of rest and Date Night. To you all we say thank you.

Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash

Saturdays are a lie in day as are many Sunday mornings as we have Church in the Afternoon, we have developed a couple of family traditions, Saturday sees Wee Man and I enjoy scrambled Egg on toast, Sunday sees us all enjoy a daddy cooked brunch.  I am oft challenged as I hear about other families locally in the neighbourhood as well as friends talk about the myriad groups and functions and activities their children are engaged in. Forever of an evening and more so at the weekends all out at this, that and the next thing, constant Taxi service. Our kids have a few things on during the week and hardly anything at the weekends unless scheduled by us as their parents.  There are times when I think we should be doing more, however, more so I recognise, this is our pace and this is how we have developed to cope with our life and all that has to challenge and bring. We have enough going on to engage us, keep us busy, because we have come to recognise we need to pace this marathon of life for their sake, for our sake.  So yeah we chill and we get up late on the weekends, we do stuff, sometimes we don’t, we plan in activities and schedule, we let it go and let the schedule slip and it creates as we see it an atmosphere of yes there are times to plan, be, do, go.  Just as important and dare I say more so, are the times to rest, explore, read, just not…

We can and do in life push ahead, strive and look to the next thing, but how much do we need as parents to show that life isn’t all about the device in your hands, mindless games, endless work, serving.  This Father is more trying to show yes these are helpful and add to our lives, allow us to connect, meet, share, even relax, but much more is the lack of electronic stimulation allows and fosters creativity, reading, exploring, being outside rain or shine, learning our own personal rhythm of pace.  Ironically, reading this may to you be relaxing, on a device.  However you have taken the time out of our day/schedule to stop and read this, thus allowing a stoppage an opportunity to reflect.  The question is now what…

Habit forming …

Life

For about a year now Yve and I have been working on our weight. We decided collectively on a weekend away in Feb 2017 that we needed to work on our weight and this our health, this Father ain’t getting any younger ye know.

Well took us till about May to join a local Slimming World Group got stuck in and almost 2 stone lighter and much has changed. Specifically habits, things that were acceptable or permitted no longer feature. Take my lunch for example. Year or so ago my lunch box was filled with my daily snack and lunch. That would have been 4 chocolate biccies (2 for morning tea break and other 2 for lunch) 2 slice sandwich ham and cheese, 2 packet of crisps, 1 piece of fruit if you were lucky and probably a can of full fat/sugar coke/Bru etc.

Now it’s salad or healthy soup no sign of bread at all, 4 pieces of fruit, light yoghurt a baby bel, lighter crisps, only 1 packet, a hi life bar and a small choc like Freddo item for a treat. Water washes it all down and on a special occasion can of Coke Zero. Very different and very satisfied. All meals from morning till night have either adjusted or vanished. Feel so much better, you should try changing something, be brave venture out into the fearful unknown, it may actually be really good and benefit yourself and those around you.

Inspired by my World

Family

It has been some time since I have updated this site and while I have had inspiration and musings that would have been worthy for one reason or another they haven’t made it onto these pages.  Lots I could tell you, not the time.

Fathers Day here in the UK and it seems appropriate and inspired enough that I have come on to share.  Among the presents I received from my family, a Teenage Survivor Mug, Smellies or more accurate shaving gel and moisturiser, cards from both my kids and the Black Panther on DVD.  The one that really caught my attention and has me brewing with joy and indeed challenged was the pictured frame quote that reads…

“To the World you are a Dad, to our family you are the World”

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a words person, your words build me up and they also cut me at my ankles and cripple, my own words to myself also are powerful, likewise I choose my spoken to others words carefully and feel deeply when those words spoken even remotely seem to harm, even if only by my perception.

So receiving this is wonderfully poignant and apt from my beloveds.  Strikes me in this climate of Men’s Health as well as wider Mental Health that I write today.  To someone you are their world, for you not to be there, they will most definitely suffer and feel very lost and the grieving process will be hard.  Do not take lightly the interactions and relationships you have no matter how short or seemingly insignificant.  To those children, that partner, that pet, that barista serving you coffee, checkout operator you often see, church member you promised to visit, yes that person you bothered to spend 2 minutes out of your day, to them, you matter.  Often we think of ourselves, in a context of role or job or position or place in society or even crudely the ‘food chain’.  We need to be more than that and live our lives more like it really really matters to people that you are still there with them, for them, serving them, served by them.

I am inspired by this not only to write again, but more than that to continue a weight loss journey, to strive to be better, to strive to be more here and less always somewhere or place else, be more present and less just a presence.  I often have moments with my wife and kids where I see unadulterated adoration that I have chosen to be with them, that I have chosen a path by their side over all else. I admit through their eyes I am a better person than looking from this side, I’m not perfect but I am challenged to see my worth form their perspective and less from mine, as to do so creates infinitely more worth and therefore a reason to be.

Too busy reading

Life

One of my last posts was towards the end of Movember and in it I had my glasses on and indicated that I was “too busy reading”.  For those that know me, this will perhaps come as a poorly scripted joke, since I have never been much of a reader, never.  Made it difficult through school and Uni with the whole not really into reading thing.

BookwormWell with the introduction of Movember and the growing of the ‘beard’ and I use the term loosely there, see previous xx of Movember posts, I also decided, can’t remember why, to start reading.  The kids have been a few times recently to the library to get books, tbh mostly girly girl would read for pleasure not wee man, he onlys read school material and only to avoid punishment points, although he does quite well with his reading generally.

So me being the techy I decided I would look into eBooks and get them on my tablet.  Well for some reason this sparked a gold rush on books for me.  To date of this post I have read full on books, not piddly comics or books with pictures, and not the ones you read to the kids…8 yes that’s right Eight Books!!  Full on Novels and lengthy texts…

Earth Strike by Ian Douglas (Sci Fi book) was where it started, I like SciFi, Star Wars, Star Trek all that spacey and Sci Fi is something I am interested in, then couldn’t download 2 and 3 in the series since they are not available through the library e lending thingy so then moved onto; Killing Floor by Lee Child the first in the Jack Reacher series, for no other reason than I had heard the name and the recent movie with Tom Cruise and it intrigued me and I like the Bourne and Bond type movies and it sounded similar.

Couldn’t get book 2 at the time as it was on loan to someone else and I am a bit of stickler for reading these in order (so glad I did) so instead went onto a Biography; Steve Jobs The man who thought different by Karen Blumenthal, not an official one but a good read nonetheless.  Then went back to now available and checked out to me book 2 Die Trying by Lee Child and have just today finished my last book (#8 overall #6 in Jack Series) and started book #9 for me and 7th in the series for Jack.

Mrs is asking where her husband has gone and who is this bookworm with his face in a book constantly.

Now you see it now you don’t

Family, Life

Well it didn’t take long after the end of Movember for the facial hair to come off.  As is no secret I wasn’t overly impressed with the facial hair on me and the family liked it even less, especially missus.  So we are back to the normal, clean cut, clean shaven Father Abbott we all know and love.

I have to confess there was a couple of times that I did like it, when it was just trimmed at the barbers, it actually looked quite good, trim and possibly worth keeping, but not that worth it so it’s gone.

So if you missed meeting me in person while I was sporting the Movember look, I am afraid the pictures on here are as close as you are ever likely to get.

I did take some pictures on the night that I shaved it all off a great before and after so that I could put them side by side, unfortunately this was while I was mid phone changeover from getting my own personal fixed, so they have been lost in the catacombs of time, sorry.

17th Movember

Family, Life

Trying to keep it going, had some fun this morning on the way to school.  Wee man is not good with not being given the lead and being told something other than what he wanted so we started our school walk with sourpuss walking a wee bit back.  So as usually works I begin a distraction technique.

I began with loudly, so wee man could hear, asking Girly Girl if she could hear the grunts of the ‘lesser spotted grumpy bum’ easily recognised by the loud stamping of feet and intermittent hmphing noises that could be heard. This worked a treat and a couple of minutes later I started to ask did she now recognise the ‘lesser spotted laughy bottom’ again could be known for similar markings but very different call of laughing not hmphing.  Then shortly afterwards we met some school friends and another opportunity to spot the ‘greater breasted showy off’ again very similar markings but this one has more arm movement and dances a bit more while still laughing.  The final one I mentioned I sometimes see is the ‘red faced nippy knickers’ I did say to girly girl I hadn’t seen one of them in a while but she easily guessed the anology. So much fun they d all the way to school and were still talking about it at the dinner table with Yve.

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