Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

2nd of Movember

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014

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This is what could commonly be known as the, ‘see I do have some growth there’ pose, usually postulated by prepubescent boys in the school playground as they jostle to puff their chests in manly prowess.  Not usually the pose of a forty something who has nothing to prove to anyone…

I was right though even at this early stage you can just about make out the whites are going to put on a brave fight against the colours. It’s only stubble but girly girl loves it, me I’m not sold at this early stage, too patchy for my liking, will reserve judgement until a few more days in.

Question for the beardies among you, how do you cope with that little bit on each bottom corner of your mouth that as it grows you can curl the lips inward and almost chew the hairs there?  This is one of the things that annoyed me when I grew a goatee, I can already feel myself getting irritated. I will probably have some of my friends saying we don’t you’re just weird and probably agree it is why I have not till now grown facial hair and indeed should not beyond this month.

Progress is progress though been this long before when I have been ill in the past few years so not bothered just now come mid week when it has been the longest I haven’t shaved in many years then I will probably begin to get annoyed and grumpy about it, it’s a challenge and an experience.

Steven Posted from WordPress for Android

1st of Movember

Saturday, November 1st, 2014

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Well here we are November already where has the year gone. Moved a lot recently now really settled and although no never have I am going to participate in Movember.

Now I have some reasons for doing this and some caveats. This is a global thing where men across the world grow a moustache to highlight men’s health, why, because we as men (generalisation coming) are very poor patients.  We get a cold and call it man flu, we discover something not quite right and we feel the need to man up and just muscle through and ignore it,  as a result men, women and children are losing husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles, partners and friends to illnesses and conditions that if we just man up and visit our doctors and discuss these early warning signs early enough could be prevented.

The other reasons I am doing it is because I have never really grown facial hair, not seriously. I did at one point some years since past grow a goatee quite well.  My wife doesn’t like facial hair so that has been a big part of my not doing so, so partly I simply want to see if I can, will it turn out like so many of my friends to be ginger and not my natural hair colour, although at the moment my hair colour is turning grey so that raises another question will it just be white??

I am nor following strictly the rules of Movember as that states we must be clean shaven on the 1st (last shaved morning of 31st) and also we are told to grow and groom a moustache only, no goatee no full beard (going for the full bhoona beard) I will have it groomed and perhaps once I have a week or so growth will perhaps get creative but for the moment day 1 and we’re gonna see how this grows.

Will also try to commit to posting daily selfies taken at roughly same time to document progress. Join with me in the fun side men I personally will look very different and not feel very comfortable but then it’s a small price to pay to highlight a more serious issue.

Father Abbott soon to look like Father Abraham…

7 Year Itch…

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

Before I get numerous phone calls I am not talking about my marriage with Yve here, the title is deliberate.  I am happily married and have past the ‘7 year itch’ now twice and still not intending to scratch, as you will read this too Yve, NEVER WILL.

As you will see from my Adoption Timeline here we have had girly girl and wee man for over 2 years now and this is quite momentous.  It means that they have both been with us for more time than they were with their foster carers previously, while that might not seem a long time; in the life of an adopted child that can trigger things subconsciously that we can’t see.  Yve and I have been preparing for this significant time not so much literally but more consciously just trying to be aware of it and what it might mean and perhaps what the kids could react with.  We have been mindful that we don’t bring something on that isn’t there but yet be alert as to what could be.

Scratch that itchOver the last few weeks, month or so even we have noticed a change especially in wee man but also girly girl that might be conceived as they are getting unconsciously restless, an ‘are we moving again’ type of awareness.  This is not perpetuated by anything happening in our lives but perhaps by an unconscious time trigger.  Difficult to handle with a 5 year old who at the best of times can’t express what is going on in his head, never mind with a pre hormonal girl who is more than likely displaying those pending illustrious and tumultuous hormonal years, yes my musings may be filled with how do I cope with 2 pmt times in the house, it has taken me 20 years to get used to handling Mrs, miss will be a whole new ball game.

Suffice to say we are not sure what if anything is causing this recent change in behaviours, as one friend recently commented perhaps they are just more settled and secure and free and able to express and kick off as they are doing, that should be a positive and it is, although admittedly in the midst of another slanging match or heated attitude busting moment it doesn’t feel very positive.  It could also be…wait for it… just being a parent to 2 children, girl of 9 and boy of 5, put aside all the adopted labels and history, perhaps, just perhaps we are simply watching and learning what it means to be in a different phase and stage with our kids, like every other parent on the face of the planet has or is or will experience.  After all why should we have it any different to any other family?

Feeling stretched as a Father.

Cruise Control

Sunday, August 18th, 2013

I am a bloke and I am like a lot of others in that I like to drive and also have been known to put the lead foot on the pedal…I want to say in the past but alas cannot.

I am however the fortunate owner of a new car, recently taking ownership of a ’58 plate Zafira which has some bells and whistles that I have not had before on a car I owned.  Big Sam as girly girl called her has amongst others; Cruise Control and the enviable 6th Gear.  Having these new features has changed my driving habits somewhat and partly for economics drive a lot in 6th Gear and with Cruise Control on.  Having done a fair few miles in the last few months since buying it I have noticed something about the roads on which we drive here in the UK… people drive too fast!!  I know that is no surprise to most of you and certainly not to me, however it is not until you slow done and drive below or at the speed limit on the UK road that you notice.

Traffic

Having sat at about 67/68 mph on cruise Control north and south of the border for large chunks of motorway and dual carriage way miles, and getting nearly 50+ miles/gallon, I sit happily and easily cruising and watch myriads of vehicles; small vans, cars and those pulling trailers zip past me.  The only ones not passing me are the articulated lorries and 99% of the ones towing a caravan.  Now the cars passing me that’s no surprise the usual suspects of those going places far faster than they need to.  But the surprises were the white van drivers, by that I mean standard Transit type and size of vehicles or for that matter the 3.5 Tonners as well some towing trailers as well, larger vehicles and goods type vehicles.  I guess I hadn’t noticed them before since I was travelling at 75/80 myself in the past but now you notice it a whole lot more as they blast past you at at least 80mph+.

I usually have a chuckle when I drive on the dual carriage ways and pass speed cameras, knowing I have pegged it below the speed limit or on the average speed advised and see others blast past me, you know they are getting a ticket and mostly because they don’t notice as I don’t need to brake for them so they don’t get a warning.

I know there really isn’t anything I can do to reduce the speed of other road users, all I can do is what I can and know the benefit of my change in habit, and reduced risk of getting another speeding ticket.  It does still make me chuckle and wonder what I used to be like and also what greater risks we have on the roads we drive, hopefully some of it will rub off on girly girl and wee man.

Cruising
Father Abbott

Talented Legacy…

Monday, July 8th, 2013

I can be found quite a lot on Facebook and recently signed up to Twitter @father_abbott.  While watching and reading comments and watching videos and other funnies that people had written it got me thinking at the time about for how long will these people be remembered?  What legacy are they leaving behind following their talented musings.

Here are a few that I have picked out.

  • Live at the Apollo, this is a new twist for me on the stand up routine, hilariously funny and very talented lady brings 2 unsuspecting members of the audience and then uses their own personalities and reactions to make a spectacularly funny routine.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151305565952816 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This is a stunning piece of animation that I found one day that shows the progression of life from conception (not the act of this is a family blog) through to birth, simply amazing.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=1719671648410 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This was from the SoulPancake team this kid whether rehearsed and scripted I don’t care, he is cute, funny, poignant and all round saying what people need to hear in a way that is cool and interesting.  You can see other videos by searching for Kid President on YouTube or SoulPancake, has him and other soul enriching content.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=2818729965336 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This always gives me goosebumps since I am a Dad and appreciate the sentiment, I also love the way that the creators video makers have used the mum and daughter as the actual seatbelt.  Nothing prepares you for how they managed to film such a moment, excellent work.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=110593188992182 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

So yeah a few things that have made me laugh, cry and wonder at the creative talent in our world, and yet I realise with the world of internet and social media etc that we live in, how much of all of this will be remembered in years to come, days even.

I look at my kids, girly girl and wee man as they slumber peacefully in their beds, and I am reminded that of all the talented people, all the gifts that people have the creativity they possess and can articulate on the internet or social media sites.  My legacy that I must devote my time to is right there in the next room blissfully unaware, dreaming.  I must invest my life in them, to help them be all that they can be, want to be, for in them will a legacy I teach them, show them, model them live on not just for years as people watch them grow, but for generations to come.

As I write that I realise that sounds huge and so much pressure, and it is, but it’s not.  How do you do it?  Just do your best, give this parenting lark all that you have, make the mistakes as you know you will, but relish in the moments of vision that you see in their hopeful eyes.  Do all that you can and give them to your Heavenly Father as I do and He will work the miracles, you just have to work the sweat, He creates the magic.

 

Bless You
Father Abbott

Nearly 5 Months and nothing, catch up

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

I have just been reading my previous posts because friends are beginning their adoption path, and I wanted to show them our timeline and let them see how we got here, been a while since our move and a lot has happened in the interim and yet not a lot has happened.  The previous posting was written in January as a Draft and never published so I may repeat myself here a little.

Time has gone on we have done all the usual and regular stuff, go to school, work, help out at Church, run around like taxi cabs on Christmas fares. However on the flip side there has been some other stuff as well, brewing in the background. Last I left you we were prepping for the move and it was not going well, the prepping or packing that is. The move went ok, we had good help over several days, having sometime between moving in new place and out of old was not good for the bank account but definitely was for the stress levels. We love the new house and all its 5 bedrooms, garage and larger garden. Downside 3 mile drive to school and all other amenities and no nice playpark area for kids to play, dog to roam within walking distance of house.

The bladder infection did pass although it didn’t and I took not well end of November with a more serious Kidney infection caused by the same e-coli strain as October which hospitalised me for 4/5 days, that was after I spent nearly a week in bed feeling miserable and lethargic and generally nyaff. Same infection now treated, sort of, got another exact same infection end of December and by now doc is getting suspicious with 3 infections all the same in 3 months, so we have on-going Urology assessments now pending for March and April. Still I feel ok and not recurring recently so let’s hope we have seen the last of that.

Oriana Climbing FortChristmas was good, kids got a ‘Fort’ courtesy of Grandma, which I had said would be built for Christmas and then saw the instructions and gave myself a break from that, now nearly March and we’re still building. We’ll get there, Rome an all that. We did well over Christmas with the exception of Yve who took another classic Yve cold/asthmatic chesty cough cold thing and was quite bad over the holidays. Another very similar cold/cough etc thing has plagued this family for the last 6 weeks or so, Yve got another one beginning of Feb and has again suffered, then I got a cold turned into Viral infection then proper Chest infection, slowly getting rid of it, kids had a touch of the sniffles as well as coughs, so all in all been quite a poorly wee bunch these last few months.

Glad to say we are all recovering and moving on with our lives, continue to thrive, doing well in school, jobs are, well mine is good, wanting to get the Kinnell Kreations business moving proper, Yve well she is on the lookout for a new position, time to move on so we’ll have to wait and see how that makes a difference. Other than that I am happy to report the Abbott Clan is well and happy and enjoying our time as well family.

What we have to look forward to is some time with extended family in Glasgow and Aberdeen over Easter as well as a couple of weddings possibly, summer is not far away so thinking through holiday plans and also work parental leave schedules to childcare. I won’t make promises I can’t keep about writing more and sooner, since looking back history has shown I am poor at that, all I will say/promise is check back again you never know when the urge will take me.

See Ya soon peeps.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

Well that was 2012 and what a year, how was yours?  We have some highlights that will be remembered for lots of different reasons, early part of the year we legally adopted Girly girl and wee man, closely following that was the announcement and meeting that signified the end of our being the Pastors of Wellspring CGC.

In the summer we had an actual for real proper holiday where we went away and didn’t visit family or go to a wedding or any other special occasion, it was good to get away and just be on holiday, yeah it had it’s moments but then so does life.  September was the actual handover to transfer Wellspring CGC to their new pastors and also more of a milestone saw wee man go to infant school, our boy is all grown up and in uniform, special moments.

Christmas was very chilled with Yve’s mum visiting right through the christmas and New Year, we all had a very chilled Lego building, Octonauts swimming, Dolly time, just what the doctor ordered.

Unfortunately the year ended with more visits to said doctor than we would have liked to, mainly for me as I managed to acquire an e-coli infection not once, not twice but 3 times over 3 months, a trip to the hospital with a kidney infection scare and recently the doctor wants to do routine urology referral as cause still unknown and strange.  the year ended with only wee man escaped the winter cold/fluey thing that went round the family.

With Yve’s mum leaving at the airport raised an ugly response from the kidlets, that we are quickly beginning to recognise and try to work with, over the nearly 2 years they have been with us!!  Yes it has been 2 years this April…

The whole day was spattered with girly girl being more than moody, downright rude and quite disrespectful on many occasions in café’s and even in the car as well, to both Yve and her mum, wee man was alright during most of the day but when she was waving goodbye he shut down and would not acknowledge her waving and kissing goodbye, while girly girl was far more vigil and waving furiously.  Both kids find it difficult to say goodbye to loved ones, heck they find it difficult sometimes if we leave for a night out before they are put in bed, giving whatever babysitter is on duty a wee bit of a runaround.

Saying goodbye for all of us can be difficult, but for those kids who have been adopted it can all to easily bring up painful memories of how they have had to say goodbye to their birth family with no concept of ever being able to see them ever again.

Moving does funny things…

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

Sorry you never got the final chapter of the great Road Trip, we drove home we’re safe, all is good, there you go…

 

It has been a funny ol few months, handed over the Pastorship of Wellspring CGC to a younger couple, moved to a new job, started a business, been more down the rocky road of life with the kids.  Now the new chapter, when we were contemplating handing over Wellspring, we knew this was an opportunity for God to have his say in whether we actually stayed in Nottingham or not.  To be honest the only reason we moved to Nottingham in the first place was to Pastor the church here, if not for that then we would not have moved here.  4 years later and having adopted our 2 beautiful kids in this part of the world, it will forever hold special memories, not least of all the house that we started life as a family in.

We were settled and thinking we had some time before needing to make any decisions re house, when the landlord just one week after the dedication service advised that circumstances had changed and it was no longer financially viable for her to rent the house to us.  Turmoil, mix of emotions, stay in Nottingham, move back to Scotland, another country even were all asked.

The chance to make a move as  family but to keep as much else as we could the same, school, shops, church, social life, friends etc all became the single most driving force in our search for a new home not for our sake but for the kids.  All without exception the moves to a new home the kids have made has been associated with myriad of trauma and changes to personal space, carers, schools and not least of all mental instability.  A chance to re-write those memories and give them a move as a family with only the house being the thing to change became an overriding opportunity to really solidify and show the kids, life has truly changed for them.

Notice given on the old house, new rental secured and we’re booked to move in less than 3 weeks.  Yes 3 weeks to pack a 4 bed house with kids in tow we must be mad.  Oh did I mention the weekend before we move i.e. tomorrow we are off to Chelmsford Fri night to join in the Tribe at Momentum for an all CGi Conference, be there returning Sunday after church, so scratch that weekend.  I should also mention that Yve is only just recovering from another heavy cold last week and just as she was and we were beginning to think packing last weekend, boom, I came down with a bladder infection, which literally floored me for 4 days, yip right over the weekend, near incapacitated no help whatsover, so that was another weekend of packing lost.

We are beginning to see daylight as I am now back on my feet and feeling more human again, helps when the antibiotics you are taking are not resisted by the e-coli bug I managed to acquire, which the previous ones were.

With all the upset and emotions it has taken it’s toll on the kids, wee man especially has been rocked by not so much the house move but me being ill.  When we chatted about the house move the kids were constantly for days saying that picture there is it coming, and that chair and that light, what about the fire and so on.  Coming to terms with what things that they had become used to would they actually be bringing with them.  Last week or so with me being ill girly girl has been especially worried, vocally so.  Not difficult to imagine why, their 6’2″ strong always there for them to hug and play with pick them up from school etc Daddy, all of a sudden is in his bed or on the couch and is making all sorts of strange noises, not eating and definitely not himself, you can understand their minds working this all out.  Wee man one day just said I will pray for you Daddy, in true style he stands by my head as I lie on the couch, puts a hand in mine and says, “Dear Lord Jesus please make my Daddy well again for us please, Amen” job done off he trots to bed.  You gotta love that.  Girly girl is sitting underneath my legs as I lay prostrate on the couch and is discussing how bones break, we chat about the amazing way the body heals itself and can mend stuff, skin, scars, even bones with some help, she goes quiet and you know something is amiss, she doesn’t say but as she disappears round the corner off to bed, tears roll down my face as I am sure I know partly what she may be thinking about me having not been well for so many days and when is my body going to sort it out.  Girly girl shares with her mummy how she is worried about her daddy being not so well, their world as they know it can be shaken and having invested their love and time it hurts to see it tarnished.

It is times like these that you are reminded that we cannot and do not live as islands, a family unit is only as good and healthy as their bit parts, one piece of the equation is not working or is taken out of action for a while all the other parts suffer and see things in a different and not so helpful light.  For my son his ability to cope at school and life in general is inextricably linked to me, when I was ill, he had some not so good days at school as I recover so do the smiley faces on his ‘report card’.  Bears thinking about when you realise how you are, really does affect the day that others have.

See you soon.

Not happening…

Monday, June 11th, 2012

What can I say it is late and I have been driving for a fair while, we are all home and sorted, kids sleeping and washing machine on overtime, all clean clothes back on hangers and in wardrobes.

Heading to bed since have to be up early and get the kids to school, no rest for the wicked, busy day tomorrow.

June Road Trip Day 10

Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Well you can’t be surprised I did tell you that you’d be lucky if I posted last night.  Wonderful Day we had at Sawmill Croft, Forglen by Turriff, the rain stayed off and the wedding went superbly well.  We got there in good time and had time to sit in the car and munch some premade sandwiches, always a must with weddings especially since we’d been travelling since 11.  All done and we head down to the festivities, a cow shed/barn now transformed into a wonderful wedding venue, suitable for getting wed, seating and eating for guests and then Ceilidh dance.  I may be able to post some pictures of the transformed barn, but I ain’t digging out the camera just now.

There’s not much more to say about the wedding day, you have the ceremony you congratulate the bride and groom, you sit down and eat the meal provided, you chill out with family and friends while they swap out the eating tables for dance venue, just this was all on a farm and most were wearing wellies, not your usual attire accessory for a wedding, especially in Summer, but hey this is Turriff Summer and this was no ordinary venue.  Mileage on the clock was 915, no picture I was too tired to care and take a picture.

Today, was a quick check out, supposed to be by 10 but we didn’t make it till gone 11.  Combination of tired and getting up later than we needed to, lots of work to be done to get the car packed up again.  Off to School Road for a cooked brunch, to set us up for the trip south.

Swift travel back to Gran and Grandpa’s house, not really any traffic to worry about, and the prospect of  a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings was quite a pull.  Some sensible packing on my part and only had to pull some stuff out the car to allow all concerned to be set up for the night.  All done and they are all packed up in bed.

We’re nearly there on our tour, we have travelled as far North as we are going to and tomorrow we head South back to home in Bingham, we passed the 1000 mile marker today on our way back from Aberdeen, 1066 bit too spooky but that’s what’s on the clock, if you have been doing your sums through these days that I have been blogging, you will know that we are well past the 1000 mile marker since we are only in Glasgow and we have circa 300 miles still to travel before we are back in Bingham, that’s not including any detours, like the last one suggested which was via Brisbane Australia!!  How we got from a wrong turn on the M73 north in Scotland to the other side of the world is beyond me?  I am quite sure having done the route quite a few times, that there will be no wrong turns on this route South, and definitely not that far south, 300 is enough I will do those several thousand another time.