Archive for the ‘Adoption’ Category

7 Year Itch…

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

Before I get numerous phone calls I am not talking about my marriage with Yve here, the title is deliberate.  I am happily married and have past the ‘7 year itch’ now twice and still not intending to scratch, as you will read this too Yve, NEVER WILL.

As you will see from my Adoption Timeline here we have had girly girl and wee man for over 2 years now and this is quite momentous.  It means that they have both been with us for more time than they were with their foster carers previously, while that might not seem a long time; in the life of an adopted child that can trigger things subconsciously that we can’t see.  Yve and I have been preparing for this significant time not so much literally but more consciously just trying to be aware of it and what it might mean and perhaps what the kids could react with.  We have been mindful that we don’t bring something on that isn’t there but yet be alert as to what could be.

Scratch that itchOver the last few weeks, month or so even we have noticed a change especially in wee man but also girly girl that might be conceived as they are getting unconsciously restless, an ‘are we moving again’ type of awareness.  This is not perpetuated by anything happening in our lives but perhaps by an unconscious time trigger.  Difficult to handle with a 5 year old who at the best of times can’t express what is going on in his head, never mind with a pre hormonal girl who is more than likely displaying those pending illustrious and tumultuous hormonal years, yes my musings may be filled with how do I cope with 2 pmt times in the house, it has taken me 20 years to get used to handling Mrs, miss will be a whole new ball game.

Suffice to say we are not sure what if anything is causing this recent change in behaviours, as one friend recently commented perhaps they are just more settled and secure and free and able to express and kick off as they are doing, that should be a positive and it is, although admittedly in the midst of another slanging match or heated attitude busting moment it doesn’t feel very positive.  It could also be…wait for it… just being a parent to 2 children, girl of 9 and boy of 5, put aside all the adopted labels and history, perhaps, just perhaps we are simply watching and learning what it means to be in a different phase and stage with our kids, like every other parent on the face of the planet has or is or will experience.  After all why should we have it any different to any other family?

Feeling stretched as a Father.

Talented Legacy…

Monday, July 8th, 2013

I can be found quite a lot on Facebook and recently signed up to Twitter @father_abbott.  While watching and reading comments and watching videos and other funnies that people had written it got me thinking at the time about for how long will these people be remembered?  What legacy are they leaving behind following their talented musings.

Here are a few that I have picked out.

  • Live at the Apollo, this is a new twist for me on the stand up routine, hilariously funny and very talented lady brings 2 unsuspecting members of the audience and then uses their own personalities and reactions to make a spectacularly funny routine.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151305565952816 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This is a stunning piece of animation that I found one day that shows the progression of life from conception (not the act of this is a family blog) through to birth, simply amazing.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=1719671648410 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This was from the SoulPancake team this kid whether rehearsed and scripted I don’t care, he is cute, funny, poignant and all round saying what people need to hear in a way that is cool and interesting.  You can see other videos by searching for Kid President on YouTube or SoulPancake, has him and other soul enriching content.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=2818729965336 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

 

  • This always gives me goosebumps since I am a Dad and appreciate the sentiment, I also love the way that the creators video makers have used the mum and daughter as the actual seatbelt.  Nothing prepares you for how they managed to film such a moment, excellent work.

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=110593188992182 Link in case the embedded video does not work on some devices.

So yeah a few things that have made me laugh, cry and wonder at the creative talent in our world, and yet I realise with the world of internet and social media etc that we live in, how much of all of this will be remembered in years to come, days even.

I look at my kids, girly girl and wee man as they slumber peacefully in their beds, and I am reminded that of all the talented people, all the gifts that people have the creativity they possess and can articulate on the internet or social media sites.  My legacy that I must devote my time to is right there in the next room blissfully unaware, dreaming.  I must invest my life in them, to help them be all that they can be, want to be, for in them will a legacy I teach them, show them, model them live on not just for years as people watch them grow, but for generations to come.

As I write that I realise that sounds huge and so much pressure, and it is, but it’s not.  How do you do it?  Just do your best, give this parenting lark all that you have, make the mistakes as you know you will, but relish in the moments of vision that you see in their hopeful eyes.  Do all that you can and give them to your Heavenly Father as I do and He will work the miracles, you just have to work the sweat, He creates the magic.

 

Bless You
Father Abbott

Nearly 5 Months and nothing, catch up

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

I have just been reading my previous posts because friends are beginning their adoption path, and I wanted to show them our timeline and let them see how we got here, been a while since our move and a lot has happened in the interim and yet not a lot has happened.  The previous posting was written in January as a Draft and never published so I may repeat myself here a little.

Time has gone on we have done all the usual and regular stuff, go to school, work, help out at Church, run around like taxi cabs on Christmas fares. However on the flip side there has been some other stuff as well, brewing in the background. Last I left you we were prepping for the move and it was not going well, the prepping or packing that is. The move went ok, we had good help over several days, having sometime between moving in new place and out of old was not good for the bank account but definitely was for the stress levels. We love the new house and all its 5 bedrooms, garage and larger garden. Downside 3 mile drive to school and all other amenities and no nice playpark area for kids to play, dog to roam within walking distance of house.

The bladder infection did pass although it didn’t and I took not well end of November with a more serious Kidney infection caused by the same e-coli strain as October which hospitalised me for 4/5 days, that was after I spent nearly a week in bed feeling miserable and lethargic and generally nyaff. Same infection now treated, sort of, got another exact same infection end of December and by now doc is getting suspicious with 3 infections all the same in 3 months, so we have on-going Urology assessments now pending for March and April. Still I feel ok and not recurring recently so let’s hope we have seen the last of that.

Oriana Climbing FortChristmas was good, kids got a ‘Fort’ courtesy of Grandma, which I had said would be built for Christmas and then saw the instructions and gave myself a break from that, now nearly March and we’re still building. We’ll get there, Rome an all that. We did well over Christmas with the exception of Yve who took another classic Yve cold/asthmatic chesty cough cold thing and was quite bad over the holidays. Another very similar cold/cough etc thing has plagued this family for the last 6 weeks or so, Yve got another one beginning of Feb and has again suffered, then I got a cold turned into Viral infection then proper Chest infection, slowly getting rid of it, kids had a touch of the sniffles as well as coughs, so all in all been quite a poorly wee bunch these last few months.

Glad to say we are all recovering and moving on with our lives, continue to thrive, doing well in school, jobs are, well mine is good, wanting to get the Kinnell Kreations business moving proper, Yve well she is on the lookout for a new position, time to move on so we’ll have to wait and see how that makes a difference. Other than that I am happy to report the Abbott Clan is well and happy and enjoying our time as well family.

What we have to look forward to is some time with extended family in Glasgow and Aberdeen over Easter as well as a couple of weddings possibly, summer is not far away so thinking through holiday plans and also work parental leave schedules to childcare. I won’t make promises I can’t keep about writing more and sooner, since looking back history has shown I am poor at that, all I will say/promise is check back again you never know when the urge will take me.

See Ya soon peeps.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

Well that was 2012 and what a year, how was yours?  We have some highlights that will be remembered for lots of different reasons, early part of the year we legally adopted Girly girl and wee man, closely following that was the announcement and meeting that signified the end of our being the Pastors of Wellspring CGC.

In the summer we had an actual for real proper holiday where we went away and didn’t visit family or go to a wedding or any other special occasion, it was good to get away and just be on holiday, yeah it had it’s moments but then so does life.  September was the actual handover to transfer Wellspring CGC to their new pastors and also more of a milestone saw wee man go to infant school, our boy is all grown up and in uniform, special moments.

Christmas was very chilled with Yve’s mum visiting right through the christmas and New Year, we all had a very chilled Lego building, Octonauts swimming, Dolly time, just what the doctor ordered.

Unfortunately the year ended with more visits to said doctor than we would have liked to, mainly for me as I managed to acquire an e-coli infection not once, not twice but 3 times over 3 months, a trip to the hospital with a kidney infection scare and recently the doctor wants to do routine urology referral as cause still unknown and strange.  the year ended with only wee man escaped the winter cold/fluey thing that went round the family.

With Yve’s mum leaving at the airport raised an ugly response from the kidlets, that we are quickly beginning to recognise and try to work with, over the nearly 2 years they have been with us!!  Yes it has been 2 years this April…

The whole day was spattered with girly girl being more than moody, downright rude and quite disrespectful on many occasions in café’s and even in the car as well, to both Yve and her mum, wee man was alright during most of the day but when she was waving goodbye he shut down and would not acknowledge her waving and kissing goodbye, while girly girl was far more vigil and waving furiously.  Both kids find it difficult to say goodbye to loved ones, heck they find it difficult sometimes if we leave for a night out before they are put in bed, giving whatever babysitter is on duty a wee bit of a runaround.

Saying goodbye for all of us can be difficult, but for those kids who have been adopted it can all to easily bring up painful memories of how they have had to say goodbye to their birth family with no concept of ever being able to see them ever again.

Moving does funny things…

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

Sorry you never got the final chapter of the great Road Trip, we drove home we’re safe, all is good, there you go…

 

It has been a funny ol few months, handed over the Pastorship of Wellspring CGC to a younger couple, moved to a new job, started a business, been more down the rocky road of life with the kids.  Now the new chapter, when we were contemplating handing over Wellspring, we knew this was an opportunity for God to have his say in whether we actually stayed in Nottingham or not.  To be honest the only reason we moved to Nottingham in the first place was to Pastor the church here, if not for that then we would not have moved here.  4 years later and having adopted our 2 beautiful kids in this part of the world, it will forever hold special memories, not least of all the house that we started life as a family in.

We were settled and thinking we had some time before needing to make any decisions re house, when the landlord just one week after the dedication service advised that circumstances had changed and it was no longer financially viable for her to rent the house to us.  Turmoil, mix of emotions, stay in Nottingham, move back to Scotland, another country even were all asked.

The chance to make a move as  family but to keep as much else as we could the same, school, shops, church, social life, friends etc all became the single most driving force in our search for a new home not for our sake but for the kids.  All without exception the moves to a new home the kids have made has been associated with myriad of trauma and changes to personal space, carers, schools and not least of all mental instability.  A chance to re-write those memories and give them a move as a family with only the house being the thing to change became an overriding opportunity to really solidify and show the kids, life has truly changed for them.

Notice given on the old house, new rental secured and we’re booked to move in less than 3 weeks.  Yes 3 weeks to pack a 4 bed house with kids in tow we must be mad.  Oh did I mention the weekend before we move i.e. tomorrow we are off to Chelmsford Fri night to join in the Tribe at Momentum for an all CGi Conference, be there returning Sunday after church, so scratch that weekend.  I should also mention that Yve is only just recovering from another heavy cold last week and just as she was and we were beginning to think packing last weekend, boom, I came down with a bladder infection, which literally floored me for 4 days, yip right over the weekend, near incapacitated no help whatsover, so that was another weekend of packing lost.

We are beginning to see daylight as I am now back on my feet and feeling more human again, helps when the antibiotics you are taking are not resisted by the e-coli bug I managed to acquire, which the previous ones were.

With all the upset and emotions it has taken it’s toll on the kids, wee man especially has been rocked by not so much the house move but me being ill.  When we chatted about the house move the kids were constantly for days saying that picture there is it coming, and that chair and that light, what about the fire and so on.  Coming to terms with what things that they had become used to would they actually be bringing with them.  Last week or so with me being ill girly girl has been especially worried, vocally so.  Not difficult to imagine why, their 6’2″ strong always there for them to hug and play with pick them up from school etc Daddy, all of a sudden is in his bed or on the couch and is making all sorts of strange noises, not eating and definitely not himself, you can understand their minds working this all out.  Wee man one day just said I will pray for you Daddy, in true style he stands by my head as I lie on the couch, puts a hand in mine and says, “Dear Lord Jesus please make my Daddy well again for us please, Amen” job done off he trots to bed.  You gotta love that.  Girly girl is sitting underneath my legs as I lay prostrate on the couch and is discussing how bones break, we chat about the amazing way the body heals itself and can mend stuff, skin, scars, even bones with some help, she goes quiet and you know something is amiss, she doesn’t say but as she disappears round the corner off to bed, tears roll down my face as I am sure I know partly what she may be thinking about me having not been well for so many days and when is my body going to sort it out.  Girly girl shares with her mummy how she is worried about her daddy being not so well, their world as they know it can be shaken and having invested their love and time it hurts to see it tarnished.

It is times like these that you are reminded that we cannot and do not live as islands, a family unit is only as good and healthy as their bit parts, one piece of the equation is not working or is taken out of action for a while all the other parts suffer and see things in a different and not so helpful light.  For my son his ability to cope at school and life in general is inextricably linked to me, when I was ill, he had some not so good days at school as I recover so do the smiley faces on his ‘report card’.  Bears thinking about when you realise how you are, really does affect the day that others have.

See you soon.

June Road Trip Day 1

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Been a while coming that we have booked some time away, this has come as a result of a cousins wedding at the end of this half term week and yet it is Friday 1st June kids have inset day so we have travelled to Gran and Grandpa’s, my Mum and Dad, to stay for a few days before heading up to Aberdeen and then the wedding in Turriff  on Saturday 9th.

This visit will be peppered with family time, us and extended, as well as seeing lots of CGC Paisley folk, Sunday and beyond, who have not seen the kids at all nor us for nearly 2 years.  So to say we are all excited is an understatement.

Got up today around 9 Yve fed us all with cooked breakfast, Thank You Yve, nom nom, then onto the packing this was elongated more so cause I was trying to have the kids help as much as poss and they were being taught how to pack suitcases with shoes to the bottom and light stuff on top.  Girly girl said to wee man; “that’s so we know how to pack for holidays when we are older.”  God Bless em…

We’re driving so we always take more than we need, but also we have the wedding to dress for and also the holiday so we’re packed in the roof box as well as the boot.  Honey is as usual gutted that we are leaving and her stuff hasn’t moved, but we know that JC is coming over to House/Honey sit, so she won’t be alone for long.

Trip up was not bad, 2pm we left the house, stopped at Morrisons to fill with Diesel and check tyres, this doesn’t count as a stop since we have only travelled 5 miles to our local Morrisons.   1st proper stop Uttoxeter McDonalds, only been on the road less than an hour, since wee man decides despite going before we left he needs to pee.  Since we have stopped girly girl takes advantage and goes too, as do I.  Off we trot another hour in and I have to go, AGAIN.  This is not uncommon for me especially when drinking water, which I have been doing since we left Bingham.  This was quick and I mean quick, so much so I stopped car ran to the services loos, ran back to the car and then off no more than 5 minutes, engine stop to engine start.  Don’t ask me where this was since I was so quick I didn’t even look.

We’re 3 hours in now and it’s dinner time, the original plan was to eat dinner with Gran and Grandpa, that plan was shot to pieces the moment we left Bingham at 2pm instead of 2 or more hours earlier.  So we feed and let them run off some steam and stretch those little legs.  We are hoping they crash after feeding but that doesn’t happen!

Last stop Glasgow East End, 310 miles and 7+ hours since we left Bingham we pull into Gran and Grandpas, all still wide awake and delighted to have arrived.   The kids are generally very good with the time in the car, they do get bored but then don’t we all, they thankfully didn’t do the ubiquitous “Are we there yet” which I am sure I drove my parents mad with.  Girly girl spends most of her time asking where are we, to which the answer “here” does not help.  To be shown and told where we are on the map is the required answer.  Wee man did pepper his verbal thoughts with “Daddy, I love you” and “When will we be at Gran and Grandpa’s?”  Somehow the different question still has the same annoying effect, after 200 miles.  After he asks how long I give an answer usually followed by; “How many elephants do I need to count?”  It doesn’t matter what number I tell him he rarely gets past 22 before he proudly announces he’s done.

Grandpa gets to show off the bedroom with new bed and linen especially for the kids, car is emptied with the exception of wedding and Aberdeen necessities, and we’re in and settled.

Tomorrow is Family portrait time with an old friend, Andy Lynch, he is good, don’t get too excited about seeing the results as you know I can’t do that, sorry.  What I can promise is to write about it and tell you all how it went, I know it ain’t the same but you’ll get over it, you’ll just have to.

Ciao

Forgive me father, for I have sinned…

Friday, May 4th, 2012

…it has been nearly 5 months since my last confession.

 

Wow definitely over 4 months and now into May, where has the time gone?

 

Well let me give you a run down of some of the past 4 months in summary, then we’ll go from there.

January: We have some friends that are on Express Purpose a 3 weekend training/discipleship/leadership course that helps people in our movement to progress with their vision to lead ministries especially Church Planting and Pastoring, so we had their kids from Friday night to Sun. That was closely followed by our Day in Court. 

Girly Girl and Wee Man are officially legally and forever Abbotts, and we have the paperwork. That was a very emotional day for all of us, and one that will be celebrated for years to come.

February: was a good month as well. Yve celebrated her 40th Birthday and despite being very cagey and evasive I managed to co-ordinate not only a surprise gathering of friends at our house to welcome Yve home from a birthday shopping trip in Nottingham, couple that with the lies that we had spin to get Sister Lesley, Mum Simpson and all 3 nieces and nephews down from Aberdeen to join in. They then stayed for a few days and I also managed to get Yve off for a few days to spend with the family. So I think I did alright in the end. Almost forgot, I went back to work, Part Time 2 days in the office and another day effective fudged from home to work, gives good balance with Yve’s days off.

March: has been fairly uneventful, well when I say uneventful, when you go from Adoption Leave back to work, it plays havoc with the schedule for the whole family, so we had our moments, as we all try and re-adjust between me working long days, still off the days Yve is working, shopping in the middle of all that, housework. What are your finances like, knowing what you have now going forward as well as what Child Benefit, Tax Credit, Adoption Financial Support are you entitled to, should/can claim for etc. Fun Fun Fun. Thankfully we have a Welfare officer that we can chat with and they help us work through the minefield, so praise God for that.


April: things have settled down and we are now more into a routine again, with working patterns, all the financials are getting sorted as well which really helps us all feel a bit easier, we can budget and for like since I care to remember we might be able to save!  The other event in April was not in our family, my Dad who has been studying for no other reason than he can and wanted to has graduated, not just a Degree but more than that he is now Father Abbott Senior BSC Hons.  Lovely day my Dad had with my 2 brothers who were able to stand by his side, so proud of him.  We were there in spirit.  Well Done Dad.

So summary perhaps not but that is where we have been for the last few months, perhaps that explains my absence and yet I have had time and thoughts to share, just not feel I have had the time or the energy, I do have 2 demanding kids after all.

I will be back soon.

Bless You My Son, you are Forgiven.

We Survived our 1st Christmas…

Monday, December 26th, 2011

I know there have been many people who have been intrigued and curious and indeed wishing us well in our 1st Christmas together, so thought it was only fitting that I write something to let you know…

Interestingly we have our own traditions that Yve and I have developed as we have gone through the years, in light of wee man and girly girl being with us this year it has been interesting for Yve and I to challenge them and also to think about new ones that we will have as a family. Yve is incredibly organised and frugal with the pennies and had all the deals spotted online etc and then we just collected them all as we went along. They were all wrapped and stored by about the Wednesday pre-Christmas, even ones that we were asked to buy for family to save on postage were done as well. So as far as prepared for Christmas presents wise we were all sorted.

Christmas dinner was Honey Roast Ham as done by me and that has become a tradition of what Yve and I have as our Christmas meal, that didn’t change. Girly girl has been exceptionally well behaved pre during and now after as well. Wee man on the other hand has not been at all, and we really can’t fathom why?? Couple of times on the naughty step for him on Christmas Day alone, mostly for very poor behaviour and being rude and ungrateful about the gifts.

There was a pile from ‘Santa’ on the couch for the pair of them complete with stockings and then we worked our way through the under the tree piles. They didn’t get up too early, their normal Saturday morning time which is about 0730/0800. Not the ‘expected’ 5 in the morning excited, I must go downstairs now type mood, very subdued and controlled. We got up fairly promptly after them and began to build the excitement of going downstairs to see if Santa had been. Girly girl doesn’t really believe but wee man certainly does. Carrot half chewed (by Honey), reindeer food all gone, cookies, milk and banana all eaten (by me/Yve) water in bowl for reindeer poured down the sink…

We were prepared for the day just to be what it would be, there have been times at Christmas in their past that things have not been good and we are aware that there may be other activities or incidents that we don’t know about that could spark off a reaction or trigger a memory so keep it cool and roll with the punches so to speak… We got Santa Presents out the way, had breakfast and then dressed etc, back down for Mum and Dad presents, then some ‘building’/play time was required, then we had lunch/snack, then we opened another few from my family side, more ‘building’/play time, Skype with some of the rellies. Then make dinner while Yve took the dog and the kids out. After dinner we polished off the rest of the rellies and friends presents from under the tree. All in all we managed to get all the presents opened on Christmas day which was quite good really, considering there was a lot.

For wee man it has been a Chuggington and Fireman Sam Christmas, for Girly girl it has been a definite Sylvannian Families Christmas. Both have been so lovely and we have taken many pictures so we’ll be sharing them soon, memory making it has certainly been and the day was punctuated with the quote ‘best Christmas ever’ mostly from girly girl.

It has been very chilled and relaxing for us all, definitely the kind of Christmas we needed, just to let it be what it would be was the order of the day, shame that we couldn’t have other family with us or be there with them, but this was really about solidifying what Christmas will be like for the Micro Abbott family, and that was/is important. Have we cracked it? Never do I believe that we have cracked this parenting lark; Christmas or otherwise, what we have done is the best we could as we felt was appropriate and right at the time. Would we have done anything differently? Yes; we would have saved more during the year for Christmas and remembered to buy batteries!!

Blessed are the Flexible…

Monday, October 24th, 2011

…for they shall have a better time on holiday!!

Interesting times as we are currently on holiday during our half term week, spent the night at Mum and Dad’s then onto Aberdeen.  This is a proper holiday, not that the last one for the wedding wasn’t but that was different, we came up for a purpose not just for a holiday, we leave here on Wednesday and back down to Mum and Dad’s till Saturday.

So here we are in South Deeside Holiday Park, chilling and hanging out with the cousins and grandma.  It has been a great few months as we have tried so hard to build in routine and schedule and we do this then we do that, so much so that wee man gets confused and upset if he has a bath or shower before dinner.  It works, and they need it from a stability point of view, which is what they have been getting recently, not that they didn’t in their foster care, (which was excellent btw).

We are on holiday and there is NO schedule, it’s worse than the Summer holidays where at least we were at home in our own beds and own familiar surroundings, here we have to accommodate and fudge and try and blend into another set of rules and schedules.  Take bedtime routine for example…

Dinner on the table for 5.30pm (or as near as)
Immediately after wee man has excused himself from the table, it’s upstairs for a bath/face wash, into pyjamas and then down for a book and bed, by 7pm at the latest.  Girly Girl is usually not far behind and same for her and into bed by 7.30/8.

That is regardless of school night or not.  Now we are not the Contented Baby crew, we have been known to drop the teeth cleaning or even a bath/wash if things are not right.

Here on holiday and indeed last time we were in Scotland away or even Chelmsford which we had cause to recently, the timing of dinner for a start can and has been later and with our lodge being 5 minutes away from Skinny Blister that adds to the mix.  We try and keep to the same dinner then bath (every other night) and then story and then bed, but that can be elongated and protracted and with them getting more and more tired doesn’t help cranky ville.

Add to that the fact that while they are away from home they are both up at 0630 and will not go back to sleep!!  What’s wrong with that I hear many parents cry?  Well consider that normally at home I wake them up at 7.20 in the morning and I don’t mean they are up and just not out of their room, I mean they are properly sleeping and not aware I have entered the room type sleeping.  Even at the weekends and days off they can easily run till 7.30 even 8 sometimes before either of them surface.

Despite all of that we are having a great time, the kids have on the whole been really well behaved and loving all the time with the cousins and also seeing some of the extended family and also some of Yve’s old houses and hang out, tiring work all this travelling and seeing new people and new things.  So the moral of this little tipple is be flexible and willing to bend especially when on Holiday as that will make for a more enjoyable time for all concerned.

May update while at the ‘grandparents’ get better chance of being on their Wi-Fi…

So not fair…

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Immediate thoughts when I read the title turn to Harry Enfield’s teenage character Kevin that was so funny and would be walking around long hair plukey (spotty) and looking like he had just been dragged through a hedge backwards.   Then I would naturally think that was a recent phrase from one of the kids in response to something that I had told them off about or had mentioned was about to happen.

No it was from me…

No you are not mistaken I did say it was me, and this isn’t the first time either…Walk with me while I paint the picture that leads me to be saying, “so not fair”…

 

It’s a normal school day, and the alarm goes off and I snooze it cause I haven’t had enough sleep and I can’t be bothered.  I get up, eventually, bleary eyed and wander to the bathroom, usual routine there and out get dressed then head for the kids rooms.  Usually wee man first since he is like me in the sense that wake him up and boom he is awake and alert.  Girly girl is the opposite like Yve, takes time to cool down and warm up.

So yeah I wakes them up as per usual, open curtains and window to let air in and then after girly girl has had her morning, I’m up but not yet awake cuddle with me, those immortal words come from me as I am conscious of the time and schedule.  “Right guys time to get dressed.  Wee man go get your clothes and bring them through to girly girls room and girly girl, get your stuff out the wardrobe and I will help you get dressed.”  Usually this is met from girly girl with; “is it going to be hot or cold?”  always needs to know the weather, cottoned onto this and the weather app on the phone answers the question.  So she is fine clothes are sorted etc.  We may have a tussle with re skirts and blouses, pinafores etc, but generally we are good and get on with it.  Wee man on the other hand especially lately has taken to as soon as those words are uttered, he hits paralysed mode!!

Instantly his legs are jelly and he flops to the floor, just like a baby, starts huffing and puffing and you try and gee him up and tickle him and distract him etc to no avail, he ain’t for shifting.  When you get words it can be; ” but I want you to help me…”  to which we usually then have a discourse about who is helping and how much help he is actually going to get, normal routine, ie every day since he arrived has been he gets clothes out of his own choosing and I help put them on.  99% of the time especially school days, he wants to get dressed in girly girls room, and I am good with that since it makes it easier for me to help both simultaneously.

All of this can go on for anywhere between 2 and 20 minutes, sometimes we get there, and others he is left upstairs refusing help and girly girl and I have abandoned hope and gone down for breakfast.  When that happens he greets for a bit, gets over it and then gets himself dressed, completely by himself and properly.

So that’s what has become the normal for me routine of getting them up school days.

 

Recently I was able to schedule that I would be attending our CGi movement Pastors Day, love these times as I reconnect with my peers and rub off on each other values and principles as well as get some teaching to boot.  This meant I would travel to Chelmsford Tuesday night, stay over and do the day on the Wednesday.  Ipsofacto this would require Yve to co-ordinate and deal with the above mentioned routine.  She did have help since our niece Jemma was staying and she would help out where possible.  Since Yve does not normally do this we are both somewhat anxious since maintaining the routine is important as there are other activities that rely on getting girly girl up and out to school as well as keeping wee man in tow.

And here it is, did they do what they normally do to me of a morning…of course not.  This is not the first time either.

They got up before Yve did, went to the bathroom, both of them.  Yve was left waiting for them to finish so that she could shower etc.  They were both in girly girls room, beginning to as Yve thought misbehave, so going to send them to their own rooms to chill while she was in the shower.  They begin to get upset, saying we can’t cause then we won’t be able to surprise you!  I have heard that before and it is usually followed as it was to Yve with and now you know what it is it won’t be a surprise!!  Since they haven’t actually said what it is, it still is a surprise.

So off Yve toddles leaving them to their ‘SURPRISE’ and when she emerges the pair of them have gone and not only retrieved the appropriate clothing for the day, but more than that are both fully and properly (wee man can get his legs in the wrong holes of his pants, bless him) dressed.  No input, no fussing, just sorted.

 

So why oh WHY on God’s green earth do they always do that for Yve and never for me?  Why do I not get the break and the lack of hassle and headache that Yve seems to get?  Don’t get me wrong I do not wish that Yve had to deal with the norm, but once in a while they could cut me some slack and do it for me…so not fair!!